What meant the most to you about this chapter or offered you the greatest challenge or inspired you deeply?
Have you ever felt like God has ever reached over and punched you in the face with something? Like you’ve been so oblivious to what is right in front of you but too consumed with yourself that you don’t even see it? ... Well, that’s just how I feel about this chapter. More times that I’d like to admit, I found myself, squinting my eyes and saying “Oh no! I do that too!...” Gag. In a nutshell, I’m a helper to my husband but I realized I may be the type of helper that’s just doing enough to squeak by. I can say I’m a little helper but I can be a heavyweight hinderer too. And that’s not going to cut it. Not by any means. When Elizabeth said “you are on assignment from God to help your husband” I knew then and there that my attitude has got to change. TODAY.
Now review these words from page 69 of your book:
A helper is one who shares man’s responsibilities, responds to his nature with understanding and love and wholeheartedly cooperates with him in working out the plan of God.
Write out Matthew 20:28...
“…just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
What is the one word that best describes the heart of this verse?
Serve. Serve. Serve.
And how does Jesus say this can be accomplished in verses 26 and 27?
Whoever wants to become great, must be your servant. And whoever wants to be first, must be your servant.
Make a commitment to help your husband.
I will be a helper to him and not hinder him. I will pray for him and do things that lift him up. I will ask what he needs help with and follow through.
Focus on your husband.
I will make sure that he is at the top of my list, every day. I will not neglect him to put anyone else before him. He will be my priority each day.
Ask of your actions, Will this help or hinder my husband?
Now that I am aware, I will be able to stop myself and think: “…is this going to help or hinder my husband?...” I must make this a habit in order to put all of the above in to action!
*Eve (Genesis 3:1-6, 17) : Did Eve help or hinder her husband? Why? ...and How?
Hinder. She allowed herself to be seduced by the serpent - because she wanted to gain more wisdom, she decided to eat the forbidden fruit. And then she convinced her husband to do it too!
Can you pinpoint any situation in your marriage where your actions or attitudes may be hindering your husband?
Yes, I sometimes feel neglected because we don’t have a lot of time together and instead of being able to focus on the big picture, (a major reason he is doing this is for me: so that I will have more time with our daughter – and hopefully more kids – in the future) I get caught up in the “…but this is what I want right now…” It’s easy for me to complain about what we don’t get to do together when I should be focused on everything he is doing for me ‘right now’ so that we can all have more time together in the future too. In reality, I’m getting the best of both worlds ‘right now!’
See what I mean about getting punched in the face? It just happened again!
In light of the fact that you are on assignment from God to help your husband, what do you plan to do about this action or attitude?
I prayed and asked God for help in this category, very specifically. I asked for forgiveness from him and I also discussed it with my husband and let him know that I hadn’t been doing what I should be doing for him. I made a commitment to both God and him, letting them know that I am going to be different. I reminded my husband of all the things he does that make me so happy to be his wife. One of his best qualities is he can be so Christ-like with his love for the broken and the lost. He is always the first to help someone out who needs support emotionally, financially or shares his love for Christ with them. He’s never afraid to talk about his life and share his experiences and I am so awed by how candid he is with people. And from where we started, this is huge. This man is truly amazing and I am so blessed to be his wife. I will find it an honor to be his helper!
• Do you see yourself as a team player, free of any competitive actions, thoughts or desires?
Hmmm... I think of myself as a team player but I definitely don’t always act like one. It’s easy for me to think how tired I am and not want to help out as much as I should - especially in the area of cleaning! I try not to compete with my husband but I can think of a few ways where I might try to get the last word in because I’m trying to convince him that I’m right - eek!
•Is your husband your primary career?
Ashamedly no. I get so caught up in the stresses of work and chasing after our two year old that I lose focus on him. I struggle to make him a priority and can think of a thousand of excuses why. But I know I want to be a priority for him - so I must put them at the top of my list!
A Heartfelt Prayer
Dear Lord, please keep working to change my heart. I want to be the helper my husband deserves. Our life together is nothing short of a miracle and let me never forget that. Without you Lord, we would not have each other, nor be blessed with so much. Help me keep focused on contributing to his needs on day-to-day basis, emotionally and show him the respect he needs to feel loved. I know in his heart that he wants for me to be happy above all else. Change my attitude so that I can show him how happy he makes me, every single day.